2 Reasons (blog assignment for school)

 Two reasons why Santorum doesn’t won’t get it

The Republican nomination, that is.

He’s against public schools.

Not only has Santorum likened America’s current public school system to big factories that essentially mass produce children whose education causes them to all think alike, and has claimed that children get “weird socialization” in those schools, he also wants to cut funding and take away government’s regulations on education. He seems to think that the government is trying to brainwash our kids, but I tend to question the motives of someone who thinks it’s a great idea to single-handedly “control” their children’s education. I’m all for protecting the minds of innocent children, but do you really think that sheltering children to only the information that their parents pick and choose for them is better than allowing them to grow and develop into adults who know how to think for themselves because they have been given the chance to explore many different educational avenues?

He’s against women’s rights.

Santorum’s dream is to go back to the days before women had any rights at all. He’s against women in the workplace as well as in the military, he’s against abortion for any reason including rape, he sees nothing wrong with banning all forms of contraception – for anyone, and he’s completely ignorant of the need for prenatal testing. Even Sarah Palin can’t get behind that one.

"I would absolutely

stand and say that

one violence is enough."

Rick Santorum on abortion in the case of rape

Love and polyamory

I think that LOVE is something extremely special- which is why it shouldn't be contained in these tiny little boxes that we have been trained and conditioned to keep it in- love should be shared, with as many people as possible, with everyone you know. It is the best gift you will ever give or receive. Look at the marriage statistics for example- rates of successful marriages are going down, and it's not because of the lack of god in schools or the laws in some states allowing marriage between same sex partners, it's because we are human and we need to be loved- and we will search it out and find it any way possible, and really believing that one person can fulfill all of our needs for our entire life is ridiculous and naive, and while it is a lovely idea, it's just not working for many people anymore. Is it?

We are too often confusing people with objects, treating them as possessions instead of humans with the free will to give and receive love in as many ways as possible. We get caught up in the jealous idea that if someone we love finds another attractive or worthy of their love that they might leave us behind- and that's what we are really afraid of- being alone.

If we could move past the idea that loving more than one person is somehow wrong or a sin, or even less meaningful than the traditional 'one person at a time' love, we would be much better off. What we need to realize is that the more love we give, and the more love we get, the happier we will be overall. Love is like skipping a stone across the surface of a pond; you toss out your little pebble of love and it sends out ripples that expand into huge rings, much larger than the tiny drop of the pebble into the water. Love is not something that, when given away, we end up with less of, rather, the more love we give away, the more it grows and multiplies and spreads, and in turn, we end up with more LOVE inside our hearts than we began with, and probably more than we ever thought possible.

The most important thing to consider here is honesty and respect. I am not saying that by any means is it okay for someone in a committed relationship to go behind the back of their significant other and sleep with someone else, or even have an emotional affair with someone else. What I AM saying, however, is that if all parties involved are completely aware of the situation and the boundaries, then a polyamorous relationship can be a very good thing.

Swallow it down

These days when I talk to people during normal waking hours, I think I come across as a bit of an airhead.  I might tell you that I didn’t sleep well last night, and perhaps you’d ask why. I probably tell you that I can’t remember. Is that what I said? I honestly can’t remember what reason I gave you, but I really do think that most of the time I have no idea why I’m not sleeping because I can’t remember. Add to my already foggy brain the fact that I’m exhausted because of insomnia, and I can’t imagine any other response mumbling past my lips. Most of the time, I feel swampy. I’ve been using the term “swamped” in reference to the amount of schoolwork I have this semester, but I think it’s an appropriate way to describe my overall state of being. It’s as if I am trudging through thick, murky sludge that doesn’t even resemble water, and my feet are being sucked into the earth floor so that with every step you hear a loud slurp beforehand and I wonder if my leg will be strong enough this time to break the quicksand’s hold. Somehow I manage to pull my foot free and take the next step, but the time between steps is gradually becoming longer and I’m just waiting for my body to give out entirely and succumb to the suction that is pulling me under inch by inch.

    I am awake now. This is one of those countless nights passed with eyes wide barely open, even the dim lamplight far too bright for my sensitive pupils. I know why I cannot sleep, and I know why I couldn’t sleep that night you asked about. It’s the pain. The aching, throbbing, occasionally shooting pain. In my head, in my neck, in my shoulders. In my chest, my arms, my stomach, my hips, my legs, my feet, my hands, my fingers. Oh, the pervasive pain – not enough to make me feel a trip to the ER is warranted, but just enough to make the transition from exhaustion into the sweet, blissful slumber I so crave impossible.

    And I’m sleepwalking to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom to find some aspirin to dull the aching, and I swallow a glass of water in three gulps, noticing as I do the bulging in my neck and I wonder. Am I going to die? Because this feels like that slow, painful death that villains are always saving for heroes. Why can’t I be the one who gets the quick, painless death if that is what all of this will amount to in the end?

    And I realize that I want to live, and then I think about how I am living and I wonder why I want to live. I want to live for all of the things I love: my son, my family, my friends, my cats, music, singing, art, creativity, drawing, loving, caring, reading, writing, watching, observing, experiencing. I want to live for all of the things I have yet to try: painting, photography, skiing, camping, performing, becoming. My current state of slogging through the swamplands does not allow for those things that I love. I haven’t the energy for them. I’m in too much pain to consider them. I’m too exhausted to enjoy them.

    I remember happiness. I have mental photographs of many hours, days, weeks, years made up of fun. I have memories of creating the fun even when the task at hand was less than exciting, and not just for myself. I turned things into fun or at least I would make people laugh. All I wanted, all I’ve ever really wanted was for everyone to have a good time, to enjoy each other’s company, no matter the situation we found ourselves in, be it work, play, or love. I’ve lost that capability. The energy required to have fun is more than my body can handle.

    I apologize if this is depressing. It’s not meant to be, it’s really just meant as somewhat of an explanation. But the truth is depressing right now, and I can only hope that in time, this will just be another inspirational story of someone who had a debilitating illness but was finally correctly diagnosed and treated for the condition and got well, TA-DA! Complete one eighty in six months or less. A girl can dream, right?

    I want to also apologize for my irritability, my disinterest, my exhaustion, and on and on. I want this to get better go away as much as the next guy. Now I am wondering… who will be around when the smoke clears?

Here are some photos of me then and now. Then being when I was healthy (I think) and now when I am not. Besides the obvious swollen facial features, I have also gained about 50 pounds, just in the last year. NOT NORMAL!

This is what I looked like in ’05 or ’06.  This is fairly normal, what I *should* look like.

This was about a year or two ago, sometime in 2010. Notice the swelling around my eyes and how large my nose looks.

This one is 2006. Again, this is a typical photo of *normal* me.

And the most current: 2012. This is what I look like now. Puffy face, swollen nose and eyes, swollen neck. You can see my coloring is terrible. Ugh. I want it to go away.

     

Better Late Than Never... Right? (blog assignment for school)

Okay, so I did get that blog done, so I figure, why not post it for all of my [zero] readers to see? So, here it is! Yay.

Is Obama the 99% or the 1%?

Before his election, Barack Obama made a lot of promises. One of them was to “tell the corporate lobbyists that their days of setting the agenda in Wash­ington are over,” but has the President held true to his word? Many people seem to be feeling disillusioned by broken promises within our government, but perhaps our perceptions have been misguided. I want to believe that Obama is on our side, that he is standing up to Wall Street and holding them accountable. Is he doing anything at all to stop them from sticking it up all of our asses?

Back in December, President Obama acknowledged that much of Wall Street’s fraud stems from a lack of severe consequences, as well as nothing to discourage them from doing it over and over. So, basically these corporate top dogs consider any slap on the wrist they may get for breaking the rules as simply “the price of doing business”. Well, at least he’s admitting the problem. So how about a solution?

In his State of the Union address, President Obama said he was going to “establish a financial crimes unit of highly trained investigators to crack down on large scale fraud and protect people’s investments.” He says he’s not willing to “go back to the days when Wall Street was allowed to play by its own set of rules” and that “the rest of us are not bailing [Wall Street] out ever again.” Hallelujah, I say! But will he stand behind his claims?

If 2012 campaign donations are any indication, I’d say he means what he says. It seems Wall Street doesn’t like Obama’s pledge to keep them honest. They’ve cut off virtually all donations to his campaign, and are backing Mitt Romney instead, someone “who comes from their ranks.” Sounds to me like Wall Street is looking for a way to keep their hands in the pockets of US taxpayers.

Distraction

So, I really just need to vent here for a moment. I’m frustrated and lacking the focus to complete my studies, leading to further frustration. First, I am trying to complete my first blog assignment, which is supposed to be on any topic or issue regarding the President. I’m just going to throw this out here right now: I didn’t sign up for this! Looking over the syllabus, I am learning quickly that this blogging class is very politically charged. Well, no wonder, considering it’s taught by someone who blogs about politics. Okay, so I have no interest in blogging about politics, mainly because I don’t like making statements about anything until I have all of the information and have checked every source I can to make sure I’ve got my facts straight. Ugh. Basically, I’m pretty sure I am making this way harder on myself than necessary. Okay, fine.

Second, the lack of focus I have on a daily basis is really becoming a pain in the ass! I am distracted by every little thing, but I don’t mean to be, I don’t want to be. I truly want to be able to read through a handful of political news articles without drifting off into la la land, but I’m not sure that it’s meant to be. My phone alerts me with its little “PEW!” that I have a new message, the clothes dryer gives a loud BUZZ to warn me that if I don’t get in there soon to take them out, all of my clothes will become a hot wrinkly mess. Even the geese are determined to foil my studies with their “Honk-a, honk-a” crazy loud yammering. All of these annoyances combine with the fact that I simply do not want to write about politics.

And it’s not because I’m not interested; I am. I want to know what’s going on to stop Wall Street from sticking it up all of our asses. I want to know that the 99% won’t be suffering the consequences of the crimes of the 1%. I want to know whether Obama is really on our side, or if his pockets are lined with corporate greed as well. I want to know… I just don’t want to blog about it.

Step ONE

It’s official; I’m stepping out into the vast unknown. Spurred partly on by a class I’m taking, urging me to “practice” creating a blog, but also partly because I need to write. Yeah. I need to. It’s like breathing. And I’ve been holding my breath for far too long.

So, don’t expect much, folks, and I won’t let you down! Bear with me through my first little baby steps, and we shall see what will come of all this. I can make you one promise that I will surely keep: I will be me and only me, real, uncut.

Until next time, remember to smile at a stranger. It may be the nicest thing someone does for them all day.